Where is the hickey?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
