I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
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When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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