Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
