this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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