nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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