I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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