Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize