i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
