Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
