Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
