They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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