Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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