I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
