My first STD was from a foam party
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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