is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
dude. I can hear the air.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
