do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
