"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
