Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
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