3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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