Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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