I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
