we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
