I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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