remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
