dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
