Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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