I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
