What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
