You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize