someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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