I'm so fucking centered right now
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
