I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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