Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
