Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
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Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
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I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.