I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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