Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
