if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
