God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
