can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
