I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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