Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
tequila makes me forget i have legs
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
