But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize