My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
