dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize