i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
