Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
