trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
