sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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