that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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