its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
