Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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