you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
