This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Bring me that man meat
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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