Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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