What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
