I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
