You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
