And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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