yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
