You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize